


Birch Tree

by Dumb_Trash_Monster



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Birthday, F/M, Post-Break Up, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumb_Trash_Monster/pseuds/Dumb_Trash_Monster
Summary: Ben needs space. He finds a place to sit where Leslie won't be able to find him. But being Leslie Knope, she finds him.
Relationships: Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Birch Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Sarcastic_Soulmate for beta reading this.

Ben was never sure where to go anymore. Every day at work, wherever he went in the building, he saw Leslie, and that was something he’d been desperately trying to avoid for weeks. It wasn’t that he was mad at her or anything, it was just that he couldn’t handle the awkward avoidance of any topic that reminded him of their now-dead relationship. And also, it made him really sad.

Every time there was an uncomfortable pause in their conversation, he wished that they could go back to their easy banter. But that just wasn’t possible. Not after everything that had happened. Not after they had moved far past that banter.

So he avoided her. He had agreed to the five-minute conversations, but more than that was too much for him.

He wanted to find a new spot in city hall. He needed a place where he could think or read or eat. But it had to be somewhere that he wouldn’t run into Leslie. And somewhere that wouldn’t remind him of her. That criteria alone basically eliminated the wildflower mural on the second floor. So one day, he used his lunch break to explore the building, to look for a place to sit that wasn’t surrounded by horrific murals.

He found it after about twenty minutes. It was on the second floor, and the building was so big that this place seemed a little abandoned. Nobody would be able to find him here unless they were really trying. It was perfect.

It was a bench identical to the one in front of the wildflower mural, except the mural this bench sat in front of wasn’t that lively and bright painting. This mural was of a cloudy and gray day. There were rolling grassy hills, and on one there stood a lone birch tree. It was tall and bare of leaves, its white bark almost blending in with the dull sky. Ben thought it looked rather depressing, so he decided that it was a perfect place for him to mope.

//

It was around 1:00 pm on a Monday when she finally found him.

They had already had their daily five minutes of casual conversation, but she had something to give him. She was looking for him on the second floor, scanning every hallway. Then she saw him from down one of the nearly identical halls, and she stopped dead in her tracks.

She thought Ben looked a bit... off. Maybe a little more tense or unhappy than he usually was. He was sitting in front of the dullest mural in the most abandoned hallway in city hall and flipping through a hefty file. His face seemed to be locked in a permanent pout. Watching his furrowed eyebrows and too-aggressive page-turning, she forgot what she was doing. So she just gazed at him for a bit, thinking that no one deserved to seem this lonely on their birthday.

 _Oh right. His birthday. That’s why I’m here,_ she thought.

She continued to walk towards him, and when she was about ten feet away from him, he finally seemed to register her presence. His head shot up, and he made brief eye contact with her before glancing back down at his file and closing it. He looked back at her with a small wave and a half-hearted grin.

“Hey,” she said. “What’s in that file?”

“It’s a request from the sewage department for a higher budget.”

Leslie grimaced. “I hate the sewage department.”

“I know you do,” Ben said with a smile.

Leslie smiled back for a moment, but then the silence became uncomfortable, so she did what she went there to do. “Anyway, I know we already talked for five minutes today, but it’s your birthday, and I didn’t get to give you your present, so here.” She handed him a small, colorful paper bag.

Leslie watched as his eyebrows raised in surprise before he beamed. “Happy Birthday!” she exclaimed as she sat down next to him.

Ben gingerly opened the bag and pulled out the most brightly colored birthday card he’d ever seen. Leslie couldn’t help but fixate on the melancholy smile that crept onto his face as he read it.

When he looked back into the bag, he made the stupidest, dopiest, most surprised face that Leslie had ever seen. She loved that face; it told her that her gift was a success. Also, she loved that she was able to make him happy, which was something that was becoming rarer and rarer these days.

He pulled a Green Lantern comic book from the bag and began enthusiastically babbling about how rare it was, how he’d been trying to find one, and other superhero-related things that Leslie didn’t really care about. As little as she cared about whatever he was talking about, she didn’t want him to stop anytime soon. She loved watching him get all excited about random things. There was something about it that she couldn’t quite place, but it always made her smile.

He paused his rant. “I’m sorry. That was really lame, wasn’t it?”

“A little, but that’s okay,” Leslie answered with a chuckle. “And there’s something else in the bag.”

Ben raised an eyebrow and pulled a light blue t-shirt with a Letters To Cleo logo on it out of the bag. His eyebrow moved even further up his face as he inspected it. “This is… mine,” he observed, saying it so that it almost sounded like a question.

“It is. I found it in my house the other day. I know it’s not really a gift, but I thought you might want it back.”

He went silent for a moment, making for an awkward atmosphere. He finally broke the silence by speaking, stuttering a bit along the way. “I’ve actually been looking for it, so thank you. Also, I might have been rambling too much to thank you for the comic book, so I am going to do that now: Thank you for the comic book.”

Leslie narrowed her eyes. “Are you doing a Perd Hapley impression?”

“Not intentionally,” Ben replied quickly. Then he started laughing as he continued, “But I do hear it now.”

Leslie started to laugh with him. They laughed together for a long time. Almost as if they were making up for all the laughter that they used to share, but was now scarce. Leslie figured that they probably laughed much harder than the moment merited, but it killed the awkward tension.

//

They sat at that bench for a while, talking about everything that had occurred since Ben’s last birthday. Except for everything that had happened between them of course. They talked about how awful Snakejuice was and Joan Callamezzo’s gotcha journalism. Leslie told Ben about Ron’s weird family, and he told her about Andy and April’s Halloween party.

They talked for a long time like they used to. And when Ben realized he was late for a meeting and left, Leslie felt good about their conversation. She was glad they seemed to be making their way back to friendship.

//

As Ben walked into his house in the late afternoon of his birthday, he felt awful. He had enjoyed his and Leslie’s time together, and he liked to be able to talk to her as friends, but he wanted more than that. And they weren’t even really friends anymore. But Ben knew that was completely his fault.

He had gotten greedy all those months ago. He could’ve kept a friend. But instead, he had to make her more than a friend. He knew even then that he shouldn’t have done it, but he did it anyway because he couldn’t resist. He had known their relationship was doomed from the beginning. Something was eventually going to get in the way. And when something finally did, it broke him just a little. Seeing her felt like a slap in the face. One that he felt he deserved because he had asked for more than just her friendship. He couldn’t settle for just being her friend back then, and he especially couldn’t do it now.

He entered his room holding Leslie’s gifts. He put the comic book on his table before bringing his Letters to Cleo t-shirt over to his closet. He sniffed the shirt. Sure enough, it smelled like Leslie’s laundry detergent. He took a deeper breath of the scent and imagined himself snuggling with Leslie on her couch, watching some history documentary. He indulged in the memory, feeling content and safe. But just for a moment. A moment was all he would allow himself.

He put the shirt down, took a step back from it, and stared at it. With just a smell, it could transport him into his fondest memories.

He should probably wash it.

He needed to move on, and the shirt certainly wouldn’t help.

But he decided against washing it for the time being. He just wasn’t ready to let go yet. It had been months since the breakup, but he still didn’t know when he would be ready. All he knew was that he wanted to hold on just a little bit longer.

He sat down at his desk and gazed longingly at two pictures on his corkboard. They were of Leslie and him at the Harvest Festival, and they were quite possibly his favorite pictures in the world. They looked so happy, so proud of what they had accomplished together.

He put his birthday card from Leslie on the board next to the pictures.

She had kept the note short.

_Happy Birthday Ben!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_You’re such an amazing person, numbers-robot, and friend. I don’t know how I even got through the workday before you came here. I had no one to talk about percentages or politics with until you came along. Good thing you’re a nerd. I am too._

_Thank you for saving the parks department. You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve just slashed our budget and left us to bleed, but instead, you let us bring back the Harvest Festival. You’re awesome, and I’m so lucky to know you._

_Sincerely,_   
_Leslie Knope_

He looked over the card several times, his eyes lingering at the small drawing in the bottom-right corner: a kiss-monster.

The card was yet another thing that reminded him of her. Another thing he should throw away.

Reminiscing wouldn’t help him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how not to. Reminiscing wouldn’t help him, and he didn’t know what would.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this from a song called Birch Tree by Strawberry Guy, so I guess I should say that in case anyone listens to him. If you don't, you should. He's good.


End file.
